Today was a weird day for me because I woke up and decided I really wanted to start writing my summer story again. Then I decided I would much rather write something new. Then I decided that it would be interesting to try write letters to old crushes a la To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. So that is what I did. I’ve written three so far and published one. At first I was going to write them out by hand but then I got scared because sometimes, when you write things out by hand, it’s much more raw which means it’s much more real. So Instead, I drafted them up on Tumblr so that if anyone ever finds them I can say they’re make believe. I keep re-reading my first one and now that I think about it, I think I want to write them out by hand and put them in a box and one day I want to show someone - maybe my daughter or my husband C: haha. It also scares me how much I remember about the past and how emotionally invested I can get with people because I feel like that will mean I could be someone that could get my heart broken really easy. Wow, this is getting really personal and deep haha. But it’s okay because I like writing things out because its very cathartic.
In the afternoon I went to the local mall and I saw a million people that I know. I guess I hate local malls in that way because I hate running into people that i know even if they don’t know I exist. I’m just glad I didn’t see any of the people in the letters because if I did I would be convinced it was fate and spend the next month paranoid.
I watched The Mindy Project. It was pretty good because Danny liked Mindy once more and even though Mindy is just starting a new relationship with a ‘man’, whatever, right? The important thing is that one of them likes the other. I also don’t feel as excited a bout star-crossed anymore. I’ve been waiting for my friend to watch for me and even though I am usually impatient about these things I don’t think I care anymore. Does that mean I should stop? It’s kinda what happened with The Fosters too I guess! And the season is ending soon after three episodes so I guess that is pretty good for study and all.
Going to tuck my self in with a chocolate easter egg and season four of iCarly C: